Article Prerequisites
- Love of Washu
- Introductory Use of a Banhammer
- Hatered of Java
Today we will try to drive home not only how much better Washu is but also how Washu is better.
Washu has tentacles
As seen here in this never* before seen before photo (where never == 1-4 times) we see Washu demonstrating his mighty tentacles and inate pathfinding abilites.
Note that Washu is never seen with his tentacles. The secret behind these massive outburts of squishy appendages involves temporal distrubances and Squidward. In reality Washu opens a temporal rift, and makes use of Squidward's tentacles to do the dirty work. As displayed in figure A.
Which brings me to the next way in which Washu is better. (Better then what is defined later on)
Washu can make you do things
Washu is so great (or the world is programmed in .NET) that he can kick Chuck Norris' ass. Now Chuck Norris is powerful as he has ultimate power (of ultimate destiny), sorta like god. Washu has brains on his side (and .NET), so instead Washu makes Chuck Norris kick his own ass.
using System;using Chuck_Norris;public class WashuPower{ unsafe public void KickAss() { ChuckNorris.KickAss(ChuckNorris); }}I bet you don't like Java. Neither does Washu. Coincidence? That's right, it's not a coincidence because Washu says it isn't.
Washu is better then most countries
- Washu has a higher GDP then Tokelau.
- Washu's primary export is tentacle rape and .NET love. (The similarty between the two displayed in Figure B)
As a side humanitarian aid project, Washu dedicates his spare time in ridding the world of Java. This means fighting the one true body of pure evil in the universe, Duke!
Everyone Loves Washu - How Washu is Better
Washu kicks ass at not only .NET, metaprogramming, making my head explode, C++, C#, and LaTeX (tentacles need protection), but also being able to withstand the inept unwashed GuestXXXX users.
Thus, we must conclude that Washu is better then the Beatles!
Go Go Washu
