http://www.nymeta.co/wyoming-man-eyeballs-cavity/?utm_content=bufferf4a97&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Police saw an El Camino speeding and swerving down 144 S Ctr Street Thursday night and immediately pulled the car over. During a routine field sobriety test, the officer saw several eyeballs slide from the suspect’s pant leg onto the asphalt.

Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Roy Tilbott, 51, of Casper. Tilbott was quick to assure police that the eyeballs were not human, but instead harvested from cows. Tilbott said he had taken 30 cow eyeballs from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where he is employed as a meat cutter and smuggled them off the premises in his rectum.

“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

Tilbott explained his actions: “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

Tilbott admitted to police that he has been smuggling out eyeballs nearly every day for several months. “I put them in soups,” Tilbott said. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”

Tilbott was arrested for driving under the influence, his BAC nearly two times higher than the legal limit. Tilbott also had several large carving knives concealed under his seat, which police potentially believe to be stolen from Johnson Meats after Tilbott said he’d never seen them before.

Police are waiting to talk to Tilbott’s employer before they potentially charging him with theft of the eyeballs and knives. Johnson Meats has not released a statement regarding the incident.

Oh my... it doesn't get much sicker than that, or does it?

Makes me wonder if they use this stuff in viagra or cialis and those other ED drugs they constantly advertise on TV...

Shogun.

Sadly, however, the wacky eyeballs up the bum story is not at all true. The report comes from a spoof site which is a relief when you think about how much colon real estate 30 1.2 inch diameter cow eyes would take up

The mugshot shown is [...] serial rapist James Joe Nordwall

http://latest.com/2015/07/what-did-the-police-really-catch-a-man-smuggling-cows-eyeballs-in-his-bum/

Oh my... it doesn't get much sicker than that, or does it?

Oh you adorable naive person. I just want to hug you and tell you that you've reached the bottom of the barrel with regard to human behavior and that eyeballs up the ass are as bad as reality gets.

Come on now....the eyeballs are naturally lubed already. I bet they'd feel just like another hemorrhoid.