This is the most unsettling time of my life.

It's my last semester of university and this is the time when the pressure is on to find my calling and stick to it. My focus has always been on many different things, but despite how young I am, I find myself unable to keep up with 10 different hobbies at once and maintain the energy to keep up with healthy routines and reliable output. I'm hoping that this new endeavor, which encapsulates everything I enjoy about the creative process, proves to be a worthwhile and long-lasting hobby.

So why choose game development?

I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to pursue this over my previous interests on a whim. I've been debating this for a long time. As I mentioned, I struggle with maintaining my focus on a few reliable things because of my fatal curiosity. Every new interest I find manages to worm its way into my routines for a few moments and then I have to fight to keep it there. I can simply never be interested in stuff enough to do it consistently, yet convince myself that this is what I'm "supposed" to be doing.

One constant for me, however, has always been video games. I have to confess that I stopped gaming a few months ago, it was eating away at my time, so I'm not necessarily talking about the act of gaming, I mean the games themselves as structures. I was always amazed at these digital worlds, how their systems engage players, and the endless possibilities within. I could spend hours gaming, I could spend hours watching game dev videos, I could spend hours looking at game assets on Pinterest, but I would have to find the right motivation to model something in 3D. Or to sculpt. Or to edit videos.

My hope with game development isn't to make money.

I hope that through game development, I can become a part of a welcoming community and try out all those little ideas I've had in the background of my mind. I want to find a more engaging way of working on art and I want to start talking about my projects to help others who struggle with neurodivergence and waning faith in themselves.

But I'm honestly terrified.

I don't mind troubleshooting and learning to code, so the challenge isn't what's got me worried. I'm just hoping that deciding to trust myself and begin this game development journey proves to be as beneficial as I predict.

Thank you for taking time to my post. I can't wait to meet all you and become a member of this community ? Stay tuned